I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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