Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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