Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
