I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize