I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
