Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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