The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My room smells like vodka and shame
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize