READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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