Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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