i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
