Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize