ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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