i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
