HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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