i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
