:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
