Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
