Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
