Umm I'm too high to move.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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