So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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