did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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