So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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