Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
