I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
