I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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