If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
