Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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