ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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