i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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