We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
