I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i've created a new STD.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
third nipple confirmed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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