Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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