Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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