My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
