Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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