She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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