I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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