Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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