So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
