just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
