If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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