She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
