it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize