first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
