clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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