I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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