and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
