Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
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Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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