There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
