he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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