Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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