We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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