last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize