It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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