i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
