You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
