glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
