Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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