So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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