My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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